


Binary

by dondengaeshi



Category: WAYV
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Space, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Past johnten
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:21:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23484493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dondengaeshi/pseuds/dondengaeshi
Summary: binary star/ˈbīnərē ˌstär/A system of two stars in which one star revolves around the other.For eons, Kun and Ten have been drawn towards each other; their relationship is characterized by long periods of yearning with infinitesimally short convergences in between. Assuming nothing external breaks their orbit, they're destined to collide eventually.Ten has only ever been patient.
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Qian Kun
Comments: 7
Kudos: 43





	Binary

From where Ten is sitting, he can feel the heat of a nearby star petering out. He has quite a clear view of it, too—a pale white gem against an impossibly dark sky, it's spinning about twice as slowly as it was several million years ago. It won't be long now until it huffs its last, likely violent breath.

He doesn't blink once.

He doesn't jump either when suddenly there's a hand on his shoulder and a body settling onto the dusty shoreline beside him.

"How long have you been here?" Kun asks him. Ten imagines his stifled irritation at having his white silk clothing touching the red sand beneath them, but it was his choice this time. Kun has always gone the extra mile for him, even when nobody asked him to.

"Since last time," he answers.

Kun makes a noise of disapproval. "Those thousands of years ago? Why?"

It hasn't been so bad. Lacking an atmosphere, the planet they're on hasn't changed much in the way of erosion, and there's no chance of any horrible storm to force him to move. He's watched its partner star dance around him in all the time that's passed, a shared orbit that will soon be broken.

"I didn't want to go anywhere else without you." He turns to look at Kun, and even now his heart still flutters, as if Ten hasn't known his beauty for countless millennia.

"No? Not even someplace a bit more...scenic?" Kun asks.

"This is the last place you walked," he reasons. "It's the closest I can get to you when you're gone."

Kun breathes a laugh, scooting closer and putting an arm around Ten's shoulders to hug him closer. "I'm here now, at least."

That he is. Ten removes the arm from around him, standing and tugging Kun to come with him. He brushes the dust from his coat meticulously, as expected, and fondness threatens to have his chest collapse in on itself.

They walk hand in hand on the shore, the nearby white dwarf casting a deceptively serene light on the water. It won't be there for much longer.

"You keep looking at it," Kun says, bumping his shoulder lightly. Possessive is never a word Ten would use to describe him, but he has his ways of asking for attention. He doesn't want to give it just yet.

"It's going to die, soon."

Kun is quiet for a moment, trying to feel what Ten feels, and he lets out a soft noise of understanding. "It will. But why are you watching it?"

"Aren't they beautiful when they die?" Ten says, swinging their arms together. "All those colors mixing together, a final pièce de résistance. Someone should be around to appreciate their work, at least."

Kun looks like he's about to dismiss him, but he takes a moment to reconsider. "I guess they can be beautiful," he admits. Then he smiles, something sweet. "You've always been a romantic." A beat. "Where did you learn that phrase, anyway?"

An old conversation resurfaces at the question, one from just after the last time Kun had left. "YangYang."

Kun hums in understanding. "It's an Earth phrase," he says. "I guess he's been spending some time with the humans."

Earth. It's a planet Ten has heard about, but he's never been there himself. Too many people, too many sights and smells—it sounds overwhelming. When he's overwhelmed, he forgets what's important. He doesn't want to lose sight of himself.

He's about to open his mouth to say something, but he forgets it immediately as a sudden light flares from above them, momentarily blinding. When it fades, what's left in the sky is an expanding mass of white stardust tinged pink around the edges. Moments later a light gust starts to pick up, the vast expanse of water in front of them beginning to grow restless.

"It's going to get stronger," Kun says, like he doesn't already know. The star will swallow the planet they're standing on whole, slowly but surely. Ten watches the pink edges of its supernova start to bleed into the white, vibrant watercolor on a black canvas. He doesn't realize how hard he's gripping Kun's hand until his eyes start watering from the gale's strength and he remembers his body.

Ten pulls on his hand, leading. "We should go."

He can tell Kun wants to say something, but he keeps silent. Ten doesn't have anywhere particular in mind while he walks, but soon the supernova is an innumerable number of lightyears behind them, and the red sand beneath their feet has been replaced with gray rock.

There are a lot of gray rocks around them, actually. They stretch into the distance in all directions, appearing to move all together with an odd, quiet unison. Farther out, if Ten strains his eyes, a dim red light winks at him.

"We're really close to Earth, here," Kun says, following his gaze. "Definitely within the same star system."

Ten takes both of his hands in his own and leans in to press a kiss to his cheek. "I didn't come here to see Earth," he murmurs. "I missed you."

"Oh, my love," Kun breathes, pulling Ten into his arms. "I missed you, too."

星

The years had been lonely without Kun, but it's all too easy to forget that emptiness when he's cradling Ten in his arms now. The shower of searing hot metal resulting from a star's death generally remains only for a measly ten-thousand years or so; a blink of an eye for beings like them. For Ten though, he makes it a point to try and remember the events with nearly insignificant lifespans. It's always made him feel sad to think about the fleeting moments of life and death, if only because nobody else will; especially in the endless perpetuity of space where so much of nature's beauty goes unseen, unheard.

It's why he tries his hardest to sear the feeling of Kun's touch into his skin, to make sure he never forgets the sound of his laugh or the way he looks at Ten like he's the center around which the cosmos orbits. He holds his time with Kun deathly close to his heart because he knows ephemeral it is.

"I don't know how your heart is big enough to hold the entire universe," Kun confesses out of the blue. He's running steady, gentle hands through Ten's hair; an apology, a declaration of commitment. Just beneath the moon they're perched on, an orange storm rages in an atmosphere that doesn't reach them.

His heart isn't that big, really. If it were, he wouldn't cry every time a galaxy fades into nothingness, and he wouldn't cry every time a new one is born. Moreover, he certainly wouldn't cry every time Kun has to leave. The gap that's left when he's gone is too great to be filled by anything else—he occupies a space in his heart that is infinitely expanding in all directions. Trying to replace it would be a fruitless endeavor.

All the supernovas that have happened and will happen couldn't fill him with enough love to match what he feels for Qian Kun.

Ten doesn't want to think about it right now, though. He shuts his eyes instead, turning his head to settle on Kun's chest. The hum of the storm below is an angry lullaby, one that matches the beat of his heart. He doesn't know how many hours, years, centuries pass while Ten is cuddled up to him in his lap, but he tries not to focus on it.

Time is mostly meaningless for them, anyway.

星

The next time they meet, Ten is standing on the precipice of a snow capped plateau that offers a view of a wide, rocky expanse stretching out into the horizon. The air is bitterly cold. He can feel the snowflakes crawling up his lungs with each inhale and shattering with each exhale.

"It's rare to find a planet with snow made of water," Kun says from beside him. Their hands find each other without a word. "Feeling homesick?"

"Earth was hardly my home," Ten tells him. Kun's hand is so warm, almost burning. He's lost track of how long he's been standing here letting the snow pelt him.

Kun tugs his hand lightly, and then they're walking. He blinks, and the mountain ranges from before have been replaced with rolling hills covered with lush grass. Above them are the faint imprints of this planet's moons side by side, one smaller than the other. Ten's lips quirk. Earth only had one.

"I don't know how you always manage to find planets with flora," Ten tells him as they settle beside a nearby pond. He dips a tentative hand in the water—it's clear, but it turns into something sticky once it makes contact with his skin. Not water, then.

Kun watches him. "You look older."

'Older' is a word that's mostly meaningless, but Ten understands. He can see his deepened laughter lines in the reflection of the not-water.

"The humans...you know how they feel about aging," he says. "Many of them view it as something to be ashamed of. They strive for eternal youth." That had been a source of endless amusement for him in the beginning. What made humans so captivating for him was how beautiful their short lives were; how they could love so much despite their existence being entirely infinitesimal. Immortality wasn't all they thought it was.

"I met one of them, befriended him," Ten continues. "He told me that I became more beautiful with every year that passed." During their time together, even when the creases around his eyes became more apparent and his hair started turning gray, Johnny only ever thought he was the most beautiful creature to exist. He knows because the words were his lullaby many nights, when he would be cradled in Johnny's arms and he had wished time could be frozen then and there. Ten doesn't realize he's smiling until he looks up to see Kun's gaze has changed to something affectionate.

"You fell in love?" Kun asks him. It isn't an accusation.

He thinks about it. Ten remembers a smile that seemed to outshine the sun, eyes so sincere he couldn't understand why humans were so preoccupied with finding the meaning of life when they were all so bound up in love themselves.

For Ten, love has always been the answer. Ever since the universe birthed him, all he's ever known, all he's ever been able to comprehend is love. To be able to fall in or out of it, even after his time with the humans, is a difficult idea to grasp.

When he thinks about Johnny, he thinks about a different kind of love. It's definitely not the kind he's used to; it was something far more intense compared to the quiet background noise of devotion he feels for Kun. Still, he knows it's a kind of love that has always been there within him, waiting to be released. Johnny just so happened to be the catalyst.

"He made me happy," he settles on. Kun nods, understanding. He always understands, even if he can't always relate. He leans in to press a kiss to Ten's cheek.

"That's all I could ever hope for you, my love," he says warmly, and Ten basks in it. "What did you think of the planet? I was so overwhelmed the first time I went there. There really isn't a planet quite like it."

It's a difficult question to answer. Earth...was nothing like Ten could have imagined. There was so much going on constantly, not just in front of him, but in the heart and mind of every human he ever met during his time there. It was as if every single person on that planet contained a universe within themselves, and their relationships were just an endless collision course of galaxies consuming and adding on to each other. Ten has never witnessed anything as beautiful as the transient lives of human beings. He was completely enamored with their creativity, with their love of life, with the way they attach meaning to anything and everything that they interact with because they're so captivated by the idea of documenting every aspect of their very existence.

Their star had consumed their planet eons ago, now—the Sun, they had named it. The humans had a name for everything; ideas and concepts Ten didn't even know could be named. He remembers his favorite had been _aibetsuriku_ ; the pain of being separated from loved ones.

He wants to say that it's inconsequential to remember such things now, but it wouldn't reflect how he truly feels. Ten had watched their sun explode from a nearby galaxy, and for the first time in his life, he hadn't cried. Humans, ultimately, were the remnants of heavenly life cycles; constellations marred their skin and stardust thrummed in their veins, even if they weren't consciously aware of it. They were home, now.

"It was beautiful," he tells Kun. Ten scoots closer to him and leans his head on his shoulder. "But I missed you."

Kun drapes an arm around his waist, holding him close. "I missed you too. More than anything."

"Are we ever going to stop missing each other?" Ten asks. "Is this going to be our fate for the rest of time?"

"I don't know, my love. I can't predict what life has in store for us." He sighs, and Ten can feel the burden of galaxies weigh on his heart just as much as it does his own. "It hurts to be torn from you, but I wouldn't know what to do about it. We just have to make the most of what we have, when we're together."

As much as Ten loved all that infinity had to offer, he couldn't deny that it was also his sole source of heartache. Cosmic circumstance could be a curse just as much as it could be a blessing. He and Kun knew that better than anyone.

"I wish the universe didn't need you to hold it together," he says sotto voce. "I wish I could have you all to myself."

Kun laughs. "There aren't many of us who can say they're both needed and wanted,"

It's true. The endless expanse of space is so vast that, for the most part, beings like them hardly ever interact with each other. The chance to form bonds like Ten has with Kun is something nearly unheard of; in truth, they're something of an anomaly. The gravity between them is impossible to fight, but as it stands, its strength waxes and wanes cyclically, pulled together and apart by forces they can't hope to control, let alone understand.

At least, Ten doesn't understand it very well. He knows that there are parts of the fabric of spacetime that are torn or warped for whatever reason, and that it's Kun's job to fix them before they get out of hand. He knows that these gashes cause his very existence to become skewed. Sometimes they're able to coexist, sometimes Ten doesn't see him for millions of years.

He knows, but he doesn't understand. Kun does. That's why he's an architect—responsible, meticulous, and ultimately far too essential to be completely preoccupied with his romance with Ten. If they had met earlier, before Kun had chosen his craft and before Ten had decided that love was at the center of all things, maybe their relationship would be easier.

That hadn't been the case, though. It's unfortunate, but they do what they can.

"For what it's worth, my love, I feel the same way."

星

Ten finds Sicheng meditating on the blackened core of a dead star.

He hadn't even been looking for him this time, so he's moderately surprised. Sicheng is reclusive at best, frustratingly cryptic and impossible to find at worst.

Ten sits down beside him on the corpse of cooling metal, close enough for their knees to be touching. If this star had a nebula, it's long gone now. He can't even sense another celestial body anywhere near them. It's a rare thing to be this far out in the cosmos, away from any other star or planet. Sicheng always liked his solitude.

The last vestiges of warmth drain out slowly from the core, bit by bit until there's nothing left of it. It's a quiet way to pass a thousand years. Sicheng opens his eyes at the very end of it, offering Ten a small smile.

"Hello," Sicheng says to him. His voice is low but confident. Ten has always admired his serenity. "It's been a while."

"It has. How have you been?" It's sort of a worthless question, Ten knows, but he likes to ask it anyway. He likes to show he cares.

Predictably, Sicheng answers the same thing he always has. "Fine. Nothing new." Then his eyebrows perk up, suddenly remembering something. "Actually, I came across Xiaojun recently."

Ten frowns. It's been a while since he'd seen Xiaojun—he'd be hard pressed to admit it, but the thought makes him feel a bit melancholy. Ten had been there for his birth from a star nearing its demise. It was the first time he had seen one shed its outer layers, and he had been so taken by the vibrant hues of red and orange that he barely noticed the young man brushing excess iron from his hair and coughing up stardust. Xiaojun's skin had been white hot back then, still bleeding liquid metal as he came into consciousness.

"How is he?"

"Hot headed, as usual," Sicheng says with fond exasperation. "But he seems well. He was looking for black holes, last we talked."

Ten's brows furrow. He used to hunt black holes when he was younger, before he knew how dangerous they were. "What's he doing that for?"

"He says he wants to create galaxies."

"He wants to be a forger?" Ten asks, surprised. "There hasn't been a forger since—since before my time." Yixing, before his core burned out, used to tell stories of magnificent deities who physically dragged planets into orbit one by one; a painfully slow process, and a feat of patience that usually went unnoticed. It's an archaic art form, and one that Ten's always wanted to witness for himself.

Sicheng laughs at his bewilderment. "I was ambitious when I was young, too. I'm sure he's just having fun."

Ten gets the feeling that birthing star systems isn't going to be just 'fun' for Xiaojun. He keeps it to himself though; and really, he's sure Sicheng is thinking the same thing. He can't wait to see the art that Xiaojun makes.

"I found my place eventually, though—here, at the edge of all things," he continues. Then his brows furrow. "Why haven't you found yours?"

"My place is with Kun." Ten says, not missing a beat. Sicheng hums like he had been expecting him to say that.

"But you're not happy, are you? Your grief echoes throughout the ether, Ten, and it reaches me no matter where I am," Sicheng's face does that thing again, where he can't decide if he wants to lecture or if he wants to understand. In the end, he settles on the latter. He usually does. "Why don't you take your life into your own hands?"

Ten feels like he should have an answer to that, but nothing is forthcoming. Suddenly the heavy nothingness that surrounds them feels like it might collapse in on itself and squeeze Ten back down to his subatomic essentials.

He sighs. "I don't know."

Sicheng pats his shoulder, comforting. "The universe is vast and full of mysteries even we have yet to comprehend, Ten. You aren't confined to a single path just because you feel like it's your destiny." He turns his head back towards the cosmos and closes his eyes. "Our lives are long, nearly infinite. You don't have to spend it chasing dreams."

With that, they lapse into a thoughtful silence. Ten lets his eyes fall shut, too. If he tries hard enough, he can feel the low hum of the universe breathing in and out with him.

It's not as comforting as it had been millennia ago.

星

"Kun, why do we do this?"

Kun looks up from where he's playing with Ten's fingers. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, isn't there a better option? Doesn't it make you upset that we spend most of our lives missing each other?"

Somewhere off to the side, a heavy black emptiness thrums quietly. It's rare to find a black hole like this, with only a single object orbiting it. It's where they are now; on a solitary, icy comet going around and around its orbit until eventually it will be swallowed up by a merciless void. Kun gently brushes away a stray hair that's falling in front of Ten's eyes.

"Tell me what's on your mind."

Ten intertwines their fingers and takes a breath. "I want to find a better way, a better life than this. One where we can be together."

Kun's eyes widen. There's a hint of a smile on his face despite his shock. "Do you think it's possible?"

"It has to be," Ten says. "If it's not, then I'll _make_ it possible. But Kun...if I find a way to change things, you'll come with me, right?"

He lifts their interlocked hands and presses a gentle kiss to the back of Ten's as a response. The look in his eyes is positively reverent. "I'd follow you to the end of the universe if that's where I'd find you. You know that."

There isn't a star for millions of light years in any direction where they are, but Ten can't help but feel warm all over.

"I do. I just had to be sure."

Kun gets a knowing look on his face, the one he uses on YangYang when he knows he should be scolding them but he's indulging his crazy ideas instead. "You're planning something?"

"I don't know just yet. But I've got an idea."

星

Ten walks.

As much as beings like them can 'walk' in the cold vacuum of space, anyway. Usually he just thinks about where he wants to be and his surroundings change accordingly.

Right now though, Ten doesn't know where he wants to be. The fabric of spacetime can only respond to certainty, and as it stands, he's never been more uncertain about anything in his life. It's dark and empty all around him as a result. It's all he can do to walk and walk and hope he bumps into whatever it is he's looking for.

Nobody as far as he knows has ever sought out a reset button, but it's always been the cosmic elephant in the room whenever the subject of their own nature is being discussed. To be born, to live, and to die are the only states of being that are generally acknowledged. To be unborn would be to reject nature's gift of life--it's not exactly taboo, but it's never been attempted at any rate. Nobody has ever felt the need to.

Until now.

Ten doesn't know where he's going, but he knows that for there to be an end, there must be a beginning. The center of the universe has mostly only ever been talked about as if it were a myth, but Ten was nothing if not a visionary.

It's sort of comical how most of the cosmos is empty, yet the theoretical emptiness of its center is impossible to picture.

It may take a period of time long enough to be considered infinity, but that hardly matters when he finally, finally finds it--he knows he has, because suddenly there's this inexplicable feeling of dread that races up his spine and threatens to explode violently out of his chest, like his being here is so fundamentally wrong that the space around him can only respond with a visceral rejection of his existence.

Ten's chest doesn't explode though, and the feeling fades slowly. He understands the warning. He ignores it.

For a while, he doesn't even see what the center really is until it pulses, just once, an anticipatory upbeat followed by a heavy downbeat. He can't help but smile with awe; Sicheng would be thrilled to learn that the cosmos was alive.

It's a black hole, undoubtedly, its beastly intensity demanding every bit of his attention. It blends in perfectly with the empty backdrop of space, completely invisible. Ten stares at it for some time, marvelling at its presence.

This is it. The end and the beginning.

The nearest celestial object is so impossibly far away that it might as well not even exist. Ten couldn't complain, though. This was the price of freedom of will.

Gathering the last of his conviction, he folds up his legs into a lotus position (an old memory of a blue planet tickles his mind, but it's faint enough to be trivial), lets the fabric of the universe hold his weight, and waits.

"I found you," Kun says. Ten opens his eyes slowly, and for the first time in his life, he feels old. Older than he should be, older than he wants to be. When he turns to look at Kun, somehow he can just tell he feels the same way.

Sweet, kind, patient, beautiful Kun, whose presence made the limitlessness of space bearable, whose voice was softer than any element a star could birth, whose bright, indestructible heart he had given to Ten and Ten alone. He doesn't realize he's crying until Kun lifts a hand to wipe them from his cheek, careful and tender.

"What's wrong, my love?"

Ten shakes his head. "No. Nothing, really. I'm just so happy to see you again." He takes both of Kun's hands in his own and nods his head towards the void. "Are you ready to go?"

"This is it? Our second chance?" Behind them the hole pulses; inhale, exhale. Ten nods.

"This is where everything began," Ten says. "And it will be our end."

"Will we see each other again? Afterwards, I mean." Ten had contemplated that too, during the billions of years elapsed while he waited for Kun to find him again. It was a nerve wracking thought to not have Kun in his life, but the void seemed to hear his plea, and somehow Ten just knew.

He knew above all else that his love for Kun was as perpetual as the force of gravity that kept pulling them together, and he knew above all else that no matter where they may be in the universe, they'd find each other, one way or another. That was the will of the void, and no matter how he tries to warp it, that fact will remain true.

Kun nods when he tells him this, and Ten can tell that he's steeling himself to be unmade. He takes a deep breath. "Okay. I'm ready."

They stand in unison, but before they go, Kun suddenly cups his face with both hands and kisses him full on the mouth. Ten smiles into it, and he's never been more certain that they'll be okay.

"I love you more than anything," Kun says quietly, and Ten's heart is full to bursting.

"I love you, too."

With that, they leave to face the unknown, hand in hand.

星

In another world, in another lifetime, Ten meets Qian Kun during his first day at SM Entertainment.

It's funny, really. He never realized that he had been holding his breath until the first time they make eye contact, and it was as if the universe and all the galaxies it held let out one collective sigh of relief.

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by the totm photobook. celestial deity concept is seriously so freakin cool i literally cry whenever i think about it  
> anyway, some notes:
> 
> -愛別離苦、あいべつりく、aibetsuriku: the pain of being separated from loved ones  
> -the phrase 'the end and the beginning' is from a musical called razia's shadow. it's on youtube and spotify, it's really great and id heavily recommend it if you like themes of fate and the will of the heavens/cosmos!  
> -editing this was like 'ookayyy how many times can i say 'the universe' without using the word 'universe'  
> -the character in between each section is the japanese character for 'star'
> 
> im on twitter/tumblr if you wanna talk! @sputnikmp3/@sputnikp


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